The Good Stuff

Greetings Faithful Readers,

Well, it's Friday...so it's time for my weekly post about restoring the romance in your marriage. If you missed the last post, just go back a couple. It isn't essential reading to understand this one...but it wouldn't hurt to read it.

Regardless, we're going to take a look at the first chapter of the book for the next three weeks. There is a lot of great content in there, and I don't want to gloss over any of it as less important.

So let's dig in. The author talks about the phases of romance in marriage... and most of us have gone through at least two of them... Today we're going to focus on the one that's the most fun... New Love. Man, this phase is awesome. Everything is romantic! You find yourself dancing in the living room...kissing every 8 seconds...and the marriage bed needs a fire extinguisher. She is the absolute center of your universe.

I've been there. When I was courting my wife, we'd spend hours on the phone talking about absolutely nothing. Just the sound of her voice is what kept my heart beating hard. I knew that when we got married all we were going to do was sit on the couch...hold hands...and stare at each other...drinking each other in... Then, when we actually got married, things couldn't have been more incredible. We lived in a small duplex (it was owned by her grandfather and the rent was cheap!). Every morning we woke up together with a big kiss. Her skin glowed and her hair flowed. I was enamored with her. My friends that had been married longer than I was kept telling me that it would wear off...but I refused to believe them. After all, I was in control of my emotions...why couldn't this feeling last forever?

I'm here to tell you today... that "new love" feeling has waned. I honestly don't know how it happened (I think I do...but that's next week's post). My wife is more beautiful today than ever...why don't I want to spontaneously go to the beach at night and kiss under the stars? Why don't I feel the need to write little love notes all the time or plan romantic getaways. I'll tell you why...and it's hard to admit this... I don't think I have to do those things anymore. We're married.

Now before you leave me a nasty comment (or a supportive one if you agree...)... My feelings in this case are wrong. I may not be able to sustain the euphoria of "new" love but I can certainly still (and should) do some of the things that I did to win her heart. That's why I'm reading the book and sharing the insight with you. I told you from the start I would be honest in this..and I am trying to be.

If you were to sit down with your wife and look through your wedding album...what would the feeling be?

1) Those were the "good old days" when we were romantic
or
2) We are even more romantic today than we were then.

What do you think? Am I alone in this? Does your marriage still have that "new love" flavor? Are you still romancing your wife at the same level you did when you first met or got married? If so, kudos. You are excused from class with an "A" . If not, and I suspect there are many of you on my boat, stick around...we're going to dive in next week to the second phase of romance - reality. Anybody marry a prize only to find a surprise (or ten)? Stay tuned faithful reader...

Until then...
BV