Romantic Conversation

Greetings Faithful (male and married) Readers,

Exodus 4:12 "Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”

What is the difference between light from a flashlight and light from a laser? Can you guess? It's focus. Same light...different focus...different intensity... Now here's a follow up question... what's the difference between talking to your wife and having a conversation with your wife? Give up? It's focus. When was the last time you had a purposeful, open, and focused discussion with the woman you love?

That's what we're going to talk about today...communication. One of our wives' greatest needs is to be heard and understood by us...and for us to communicate with them at a deeper level. Deeper than what you might be asking? Have you ever answered this question?

"How was your day?"

How did you answer that? Was it just, "fine" and then you moved on? Is there a better way to answer this? The book suggests that there is. We need to offer specifics when we talk with our wives.. "My day was great! I turned in those reports and had a great lunch with the guys!"

Doesn't that sound better?

But you're not done yet...I'm going to take you WAY out on the limb right now...your wife wants you to add...how you feel... to the answer! Wait! Please don't leave! It's true...if we're ever going to re-spark the romance, we have to share the way we feel with our wives... Here's that answer again...this time with some emotional connection.

"My day was great! I turned in those reports and had a great lunch with the guys! Those guys are so awesome to hang around with...they really make me feel like I'm part of the group! I can't believe I used to be nervous around them...and now they're some of my best friends..."

See the difference? Sharing emotional details makes your wife feel like she's on the "inside." Like she matters...here's the deal...if you aren't having deep, focused communication with your wife, she will begin to feel more like an object rather than a partner. Someone you grunt at rather than share with... She knows you have emotions and when you don't share them with her, she'll wonder if it's her fault. Don't let that happen. It's a romance killer.

Want to know how you're doing in this area? Be bold...ask your wife these three questions:

1) On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate our communication?
2) What's the best time and place for us to talk?
3) What is the one thing that I could do better communicating with you?

Challenging...I know... But here's the deal, if you and I aren't communicating with our wives at a deeper level...somebody else will get the chance to. A co-worker, friend, neighbor...some man will get the chance to step in and fill the communication needs that your wife has. It's called emotional adultery....and it's common. We don't share and have focused discussions with our wives...they find another man to listen to them and share with. It's not all women...but why put your wife in that position? Why give her the temptation to share her hopes and dreams (and listen to his?) Step up. Be the man of her dreams.

Take some time this week to initiate a good conversation with your wife. Talk to her about her....her feelings, hopes, and dreams. Be sure to share yours with her... I promise that the bond will grow stronger and your marriage will move from flashlight to laser in no time.

Praying for your marriage...please pray for mine,
BV

Based on the book: Rekindling the Romance: Loving the Love of your Life by Dennis and Barbara Rainey