Costco Costs

Good evening faithful reader...

I wasn't going to post tonight, but I walked through my kitchen and it hit me. I will never use all that ketchup.

Confused? Let me 'splain.

Yesterday in the pseudo-hurricane that I like to call Monday afternoon...I drove the family to a little place that I call Costco. Actually everybody calls it Costco. It is Costco. We weren't members but I thought...what the heck...I've got a Grant burning a hole in my wallet and we need to buy things in bulk. What a perfect combination!

We hurried through the elegant roll up garage door and approached the kind lady at the front...She oogled us like we had already stolen something. When we told her we were interested in joining the club...she nodded toward the direction of the "Customer Service" desk. It was then that the fun began. We filled out the membership form and I handed over my debit card...she told me to "follow her". Mindy looked at her and then looked at me. "I think she wants you to go with her..." Mindy said.

Was this part of the membership? Was I going to Costco training? Why did she want just me? Would I ever return? Then I noticed the sign up ahead at the snack bar. Hey! They have sausages and a drink for a buck fifty.... I didn't care where we were going...this was Shangri-La.

Turns out I just had to run my debit card in a machine that worked. The counter one didn't.

Anyway, Mindy took her photo for the card...beautiful. Her card was perfect. Her photo looked like an Olan Mills meets Rembrandt. Stunning.

Mine. My face looked like a thumbprint. I could kinda see my nose and chin. Oh well, I thought, you can't really capture a face as beautiful as mine on a plastic card anyway so I let it go. Then I looked down at the name...any guesses? You bet... Brain Vasil. B-R-A-I-N! Boy, that's a new one. I've had that my whole life and now it reared its cruel head yet again. I went back to the counter and explained the situation to the lady. Guess what she did...

Laughed.

Then she made me a new correct card. New photo...same smudge-face.

We started shopping...48 boxes of Mac and Cheese, a gross of Pop Tarts, and 3 tankards of Ketchup. We were living the life. What was I going to do with all that Ketchup? I could pretend I was a french fry and take a bath in it...Nah. We'd probably eat half a bottle and watch the other 2 huge containers spoil past their expiration date. Nobody needs that much of one condiment. Nobody.

We stood in the 3 hour line to exit...put our supersized purchases in other products discarded boxes and headed back outside to load the car in the monsoon.

Who said the Vasils don't have any fun...

BV