Greetings Faithful Readers,
I have written and re-written this post a few times... It talks about something that I regret sharing in the first place. One time, while I was teaching on the weekend, I mentioned that I suffer from OCD (Obsessive Complusive Disorder). Not terribly bad, but it does affect me. I check the stove knobs for 5 minutes to make sure they are off...and check the door locks at least 7 times to make sure they are properly closed. I have struggled with this for years and have basically come to terms with it. My case is not severe...on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being a debilitating case, mine is about a 2-3.
But that's not the point of this blog post.
In the past couple of weeks, it has come to my attention that many people think OCD is something of a joke. I've been doing a task with them and they just casually say "Oh, that's just my OCD kicking in" or "It's just my crazy OCD brain" They don't really suffer from it....it just seems to describe their detail-minded tendencies. I fake a smile and keep on going...but you know what...it hurts. I wish I didn't have to deal with it....that I could somehow convince myself that checking to make sure things were done once was enough...but I can't. I know people don't mean it when they say things flippantly like that... they probably don't realize the impact of their chosen words.
How many times have I insensitively used words like "crazy" or "retarded" in my everyday speech? Too many. I sometimes forget that people are hurting...and I don't know what they might be dealing with for real. Are they struggling with mental illness? Do they have a learning-disabled family member? I don't really know... but I use those words anyway. Our word choice can hurt even when it isn't intended to. I've begun to focus on this verse:
"Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29b
I'm really making an effort to choose my words more carefully. I know I have hurt people in the past unintentionally with my comments and I regret it. I know how it stings.
Sorry if this sounds like a rant or a sermon...I just really felt convicted to share my thoughts on this. Please don't ask me to elaborate on my OCD...I don't understand why I have it...and can't really help others get through it yet. I feel like I should be able to just flick a switch and turn it off...like I'm a prisoner in my own mind sometimes...and I hate it. Just pray for me...and try your level best to think through your words before they come out. I'm trying too.
BV
Monday, February 09, 2009
Words
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3 comments:
Pastor B, as always, your post are so special, so real, so life-as -any -of us like!.Yua are right.. you are right. It happens to me a lot, and ,like you, i realize that as you say "crazy' or something like that do not necesarelly mean for me the exact definition of the world in the total context of it; but some times, the receiver, take it literally and get ofended because,they are or hurt or dealing with it in they own word.Yeas, man, u are right.
tainna
this is a great post..and very courageous. Thanks for being an every day inspiration on how to better ourselves and be an example to others.
Hey Brian! Super post, very thought provoking. I've said those insensitive things myself, when I check the stove for the third time, or the locks for the second time, or have a hard time letting one hanger face a different direction than the others. I think it's a lack of understanding. We all need to be so much more compassionate in our daily lives. I have been meditating a lot about our words lately, and the impact they have on others. In fact, I have a blog post written in my head about it, which I'll post in the next few days.
Thanks again! Keep writing, you have so much to say!!
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