Penny on the Track

Good morning, faithful reader...

Just put the finishing touches on Show 102 and I feel great. Not great that it is done...great in knowing that it is better than the last one. An evolution, to be sure. Having Mauricio here editing with me has given me the chance to do both weekend videos and the show at a much higher level. Both require high time commitment and both are important for the Kingdom.

The reason for this post is simple. God has put something on my heart that I just can't seem to shake. It seems lately that my day can be going perfectly well....God is in Heaven, my family is safe and healthy, a little money in the bank...maybe a new pair of shoes on my feet. Then I get a difficult phone call/letter/visit and my entire day is shot. My mood changes and I begin to worry and stress about it. Incessantly. My train derails so easily these days and I'm not really sure how to prevent it.

Sure, I know what you might be thinking. Why should a Pastor have to worry about stuff...just give it to God and forget about it. You know, you're right. I'm probably not as spiritually connected as I should be. I shouldn't let one incident change the result of my entire day. I also shouldn't worry about what is coming or potentially coming down the tracks. You know what...I do...and so do you. C'mon I can't be the only one with this. Just know, faithful reader, that I am working on this and will let you know when the change is complete. Chances are that it will be a lifetime project.

I don't like the feeling that I get when these things happen. I can't control them. I don't like being the "victim" of bad news or stress. It bugs me that I can't live in my happy bubble and not worry about stuff.

Sorry if this seems a little heavy this morning, but I only hope that if you struggle with the same things that you don't feel alone. I feel them too. I do know my only hope to overcome this is a closer relationship with Jesus. Sometimes I feel so distant from Him. Sometimes I think it is Him putting the penny on the track so I can only lean on Him. Nobody ever said that life would be easy or stress-free.

I wish they had. Maybe then I could use the stress energy for things that matter.

BV